if i can run in heels then i can drive
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
