I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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