If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
