I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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