I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
