weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize