So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
