The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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