I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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