they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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