just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
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