Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's always time for handjobs
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
