What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
