I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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