that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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