No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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