is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize