I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
