Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying