New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap