he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my god I love twenty year old dicks