i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
