this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
