I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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