Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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