PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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