I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
