I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
