I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
