i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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