She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize