lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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