check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
