wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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