Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
