How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
