Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
