I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
