I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
