I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
As shirtless as possible
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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