What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
