We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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