Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
