You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
