I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
