I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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