please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
