yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
