so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
