Soap is not a condiment
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
