i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Are my feet made of real feet?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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