I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
