eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
