in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
