Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
