that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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