I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
