so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
