I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
