I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
