We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
