I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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