You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
