no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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